even if its true that empathy is like a muscle! im not caring about anything that doesnt care about me, that barely, if at all, recognizes im a human being. do i need to see the world for what it is? maybe. but not for you and I TRULY do not have the time. im not interested! i want more! 

everyones a monster. 

people arent equal but if you live with excess, NO MATTER if youve worked for it, there should be something inside of you that DOESNT want it. dont ever give me money. i dont want to see my fucking soul. please. 

men arent picking women over men and black people arent picking white people over black people. none of us get anything for choosing ourselves last and thats why we shouldnt

i believe most of this. you decide if you believe that 

me over you, always! im every man in every movie! posess my boyfriend! ill like him more. 

i could have said this in 3 tweets 

! !



its not that youre in trouble if your pillars of support fail you its that youre in trouble if they take too long to ! 

lets hope thats not us

some people need to spend their entire lives in the wrong room to know its the wrong room

some peoples entire lives are a fantasy theyve held onto for too long


When you are thinking about ending something there comes a point where instead of ending it, it can remain JUST because it no longer means anything. If its as bad as its gonna get, theres nothing else to fear. Theres possibilities now. Opportunities. Ways out.  It doesnt remain. The situation gets the tiniest bit better and you are scared to lose that. And you lose the thing that made this better. Not hoping for it to be not needing it to be. No longer being attached made it better. and now its good and safe to get attached to. and now youre in the swme trap. ending something. you dont, and everything that comes afterwards is a plus. the bad is expected and predicted and means nothing 
this is why this was a DRAFT. reading it makes me bite my nails 


im thinking about moving back to london. being 22 here is a waste. and i wouldnt want to be 30 there. i can be any age here. it matters more where you die. ive decided 
i probably wont move back to london 

aj aj aj

i havent decided to abandon the blog forever. but maybe

i figure im retarded

i figure id know. i figure that nothing thats worthwhile, thats truly meant for me, can EVER not be mine. 

im pretending hes the one





i was about to take something out of a post

but decided against it. decided none of you care and that you wouldnt even know the significance even if you did 

nothing is ever new or specific to us

Ideas die with newborns all the time 

Theres always a neighbourhood girl and theres always a neighbourhood boy and sometimes thats you. If it isnt this life, this man, this house, this future, its another. and hundreds more. We can do so much better. and tell us why wed ever want to

what room are you trying to get into? what room are you trying to stay out of? and do we think you can tell the difference. what do we create your life around. which part of us is going to be forced to starve 


Heres a house on fire

that future isnt mine 

from outcast

"i dont want her back. i dont mean it that way. i mean Kat is still in there somewhere. but now everything is different, exciting. she tastes things like theyre brand new. can you imagine that. your first beer your first fight your first fuck. all over again."
"please. that woman that i woke up next to this morning, Shes the one i wanna spend the rest of my life with"

his wife gets possessed by a demon and he does everything he can to make sure she stays that way. thats love for you. me over you. forever. 

its a mans world. it has to be. a woman would never be so fucking cruel 


they are growing old together so they dont mind. i dont know how i want to spend the next 5 minutes. forget the next 50 years

the reason i look at everything like it can hurt me is because it can



my fathers oldest brother and his wife are in the kitchen so im hiding in my bedroom. he has my grandmothers eyes. i feel too seen

im leaving the house in 30 minutes


"theres no way a society will let a human being have what he really needs"
"theres no sicker place on this earth than a high priced cafee" 
"how do you expect to get anything of your own if youre always borrowing" 
"theres a wrong kind of going out. that starts with hope"
"you have to stay home and endure the pain. no more champagne, no more dancing" 
"he holds you close because he wants something from you because hes as empty as you are"
"you can see them as they were. sure they were pathetic. any adult who ever hurt you is pathetic and they were also very vicious. and you grew up to be the same way didnt you" 


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