if this isnt depressing


red and blue


it wont let me delete this

so. hi

what is who buying



i googled editing 

its 0138 and im drunk

i cant figure out how to not say this over and over again
the world decides your worth. you arent worthwhile because of 2 cm and someone else is. freak accidents, math, thats what decides if youre gonna be happy or not. how beautiful your world is. your scale. everything you call yours
i feel like everythig i have thats of any value isnt there for me. other than my father. his love is blind enough. hed love any girl thats his daughter. nothings built around that love
they live these empty lives and you think that somehow if you had that. youd have more. but you wouldnt and you KNOW you wouldnt. by now you know youve seen it enough times, realized youd never sell your soul for this even if you could but thats the problem. the world decides
 these ugly women with these ugly men. ugliness does repel us and maybe it should. maybe not being able to have this thing means youll turn into something better, but i doubt it. what am i thats any better. love isnt a thing you want to sacrifive for anything, but im not about to forgive anyone for anything. no one that wants me can ever have me. id never let them
theres nothing the world can give me. and all my long term plans revolve around getting prettier so i can get something i can pretend is about me 
no ones seeing anyone. ever. and i dont want to be seen by you 

people make life altering life ruining mistakes in their 20s all the time and im more afraid of being one of them

than i am of making one 

dont tell anyone i know

ive said and might have tweeted that middle class people are the most sane and id like to take that back.
you need to get everything youve ever wanted or none of it to have a chance. to have a chance to get anything thats truly worthwhile. middle class people dont know whats truly worthwhile. the only difference is the scale, and the scale is tiny. just because their insanity isnt as visible, doesnt mean its not there.


the only reason theyre not loud is because they dont know how to be. they dont know how to make anyone see them. so heres their day. heres their friday routinue theyll break up with you for ruining. heres their entire life. theyre as cruel. as mindless. just less capable. blaming something else, but blaming something nonetheless. quoting their parents instead of a book they read. not better, but maybe worse.





posessions. levels of sickness. what else

you want to do something important and then you walk into someones apartment and wonder what it would be like to have something thats just yours   

Instagram commercial.

"health decisions made in your 20s have a big effect on how you age, experts say" 

a man comments "boring. when youre that age youre gonna create fun crazy memories you can live off of later"

get worse because well never get better. but he means it. he doesnt look at it like you would, like i would, like an option we know is absolutely insane. that the worst parts of us are attracted to.

you live a life thats wrong for you and comfort yourself with the idea that you didnt always. but you did, always. it lead you nowhere. and now thats where you are. you get a GLIMPS of it and you look away 

LIVE OFF OF WHAT? NOTHING? sure. why not. thats what we have, thats what has been offered to us. thats what weve begged for.

emptiness in others bother me because its in me too. but not this much. yet 


i dont know what year it is. 



i want to buy baby clothes to see if time travel is real





hi! hello!


its 08:45

it doesnt need to last forever for it to be good right now. i keep letting Nothing take the time it needs. forcing entire worlds to flood before they have to, before its even clear that they will

im protecting my ego at all costs and look! what! a! life! 

"they can take away everything from you, youll be alright" but he misunderstands. its because of this hes alright 


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